If its a distance runner
If its a sprinter
I figured I should write something since Lily’s been bugging me about it….and I just turned 18 so there’s the obligatory WHOO I’M AN ADULT stuff to say.
Up until last night I wasn’t even gonna post anything, because to be honest my actual birthday was kind of anti-climatic. I mean it was cool to be 18, but not really earth-shakingly awesome.
Then comes yesterday night. My mom comes up and tells me to drive all the way to Tamo and pick up some papers, and the whole way I’m griping about how irritating this is. I get there, and surprise it’s Emma’s house. I probably shoulda seen this coming right then but I’m me so I still have no idea what’s going on. I get inside, and suddenly Emma, Jay, Lily, Charlotte, Graham and Nadia yell SURPRISE HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Surprise birthday party. Damn. Surprising? Heck yes. No one’s ever done something like that for me before, but it was freaking awesome.
So shoutout to all you guys, you’re the best, I love you, and thanks a million.
Anonymous asked: How are you?
Tentatively happy haha.
Presenting the first official look at Ender’s Game — an upcoming adaptation of Orson Scott Card’s beloved sci-fi novel that stars Asa Butterfield as Ender and Harrison Ford as Colonel Graf.
idk how to express emotions for this book
I also need to reread the entire series
more things to do once first semester is over!
I’m just terrified that they’re gonna ruin it…
so this is probably gonna stop being so serious.
Has anyone else watched the Thrift Shop music video and thought that Wanz looks like a black version of Mr. Calvert?
Is the only word I can think of to describe happiness. It never seems to last more than a month or two at a time. Maybe it’s complacency? It’s as if I start to be happy, and then I jump into it and pull back from all my coping mechanisms. And then when things go south again I’m left with nothing. I mean, how long has it been since I’ve posted here? And I hardly ever talk to Lily anymore (Not saying you’re a coping mechanism bud, just that maybe its a symptom as well as root cause). Maybe its expectations—I start feeling great and expect everything to just fall into place, and it never does.
In the end its probably reflective of who I am that my happiness is so fragile. I’m not someone who can create their own happiness. I am so reliant on the people around me to be happy. Not to say that I can’t enjoy myself when I’m on my own, but a huge part of my state of mind is dependent on how I feel about my relationships with everyone in my life. And those aren’t working out so well at the moment.
Of course, there are always immediate triggers to this sort of melancholy. I was ranked 7th in the state and set to place at the state meet and make BorderClash, and I ran the worst race of my life and the whole season just feels like a failure. That, and some other stuff, has me in a pretty bad mood. But I’ve felt this coming for a while, so I can’t attribute it just to feelings of the moment.
Maybe I’m just not cut out to be happy.